It is hard believe a year ago I was laying in a hospital bed wondering what the hell I did to myself.
As the title say I made it. It has been one awesome year. It seems like yesterday that I was counting down the days till surgery. Now I have made it a whole year and don’t know where to start.
This year has had its ups and downs. The way surgery and the medications play with your emotions sucked, however those days are so far gone. I feel like a “normal” person again. It is a great feeling my body is finally caught up on the sleep that I had been miss oh so much for a year. It is a great feeling when you can climb into your bed and know that you can sleep however you want because it is not going to hurt. Yes at first the sleep was rough but it has become so much better. I am once again enjoying sleep.
If you have been reading the blog you know I have been up to a lot this year. I was making the best of it and don’t plan to stop. Every little and major thing this year has put a smile on my face. From tying my shoes to running with kids, to walking pain-free have been amazing. To squatting for what I feel like is the first time in my life.
I have attempted to lose more weight and can say slowly but surely it is happening. I have set a new goal of January 15, 2014 to be 200 or less pounds. I am gaining muscle every where and I can see it. I am also losing fat in other places. It is a great feeling. Thanks to my new hip I can do a lot more things and am a lot more physical now. I have been able to run on the elliptical and am back on the treadmill climbing at an incline. Yes with both I have no pain well muscle pain but that is nothing compared to before surgery pain. I don’t just sit on my butt I like to be moving. Well until my hip has had enough. Yes it lets me know when enough is, and yes sometimes I don’t listen. Nothing ever changes.
So you might ask how do I really feel after a year. Physically I feel great. I am in the best shape that I have ever been in. My right leg feels stronger everyday. Yes it has taken me a year to get the strength back but that is ok, it came back which is the most important thing. I am starting to trust my leg more and more everyday. Trying new things and pushing the limits. I found out yesterday that I could squat as long as I had something to balance or a second and then could let go. I had a huge smile on my face. There is very little pain. Yes it hurts when I over do it. That pain is usually muscle pain and nothing more than that. It tends to go with in a day or so. On those days my ice pack travels to bed with me.
As for emotionally I would say this. One that it has busted my self-esteem, two strengthened my out look on life and third has taught me that smile changes everything. My self-esteem has hit new heights because I once again trust my leg and don’t need to worry about what is going to happen. I am see changes and they are good so I look at my self different now. I am happy all the time, I am not that tired, stressed person that I truly hated so much. It was not me at all. It has strengthened my out look in many ways. It has once again let me see that I can do what ever I put my mind too. It has allowed me to say yes I can again. I know that everyday is a new day and I might get to try something new. Lastly I have leaned that smiling is amazing. The simplest things can put the biggest smile on my face, not a fake smile but one that means everything to me. It is an amazing feeling.
This hip has allowed me to create a bucket list of things that I want to do. One of the top things on that list is to hike Diamond Head in Oahu Hawaii. I had to sit out nine years ago due to my unknown hip pain. It was hard for me not to be able to do that. Well I can say in 4 months I will be heading to Oahu with my amazing parents. On January 15 my 30th birthday I will be hiking that very mountain. My heart is full with joy and excitement. Knowing that one reason that it is going to happen is because of my new hip. Well and my determination that I will do it no matter what. There will be a post about that, you can count on it.
As I have said before music seems to speak to me at points in my life. Well my niece introduced me to the Imagine Dragons and lets say many of their songs speak to me and who I am. The on that is really playing in my headed right now is Radioactive. These few lines keep playing “I’m waking up, I feel it in my bones
Enough to make my systems blow”. That is how I feel most days that everything is waking up.
I do need to say a few thank yous to the people who have helped me get this far. These are in no certain order. Dr. Clarke, thank you for being a skilled surgeon and saying yes, because if you said no I might not be doing all this, Joe my PT, thank you for teaching me all that you did. You should me that I had the strength in my leg when I thought I didn’t. You pushed me past my limits and knew that I would push the limits too. I thank you from the bottom of my heart for all of that, You did an amazing job and should be very proud. To my family, each and every one of you have helped. From just listening across the miles. From the kind words to the hugs to just being you has helped me greatly. Thank you all. Lastly to my amazing parents. Dad you knew what and when I needed to hear certain things. Even through your silence you were helping. Mom you were my rock. You held my hand a year ago and never let go. You are still holding it you just don’t know it. You were my shoulder when I needed to cry. You both knew when I needed you and when I needed space. I would not have made it through this journey with out you. Words can’t say thank you enough.
Many people have said that I am an inspiration but in my heart I am just being me and pushing through like I have always done. This year has changed my life for the better. It was hard but what isn’t, life isn’t meant to be easy.
I regretted this hip in the beginning, but now I love it to pieces. It has given me my life back. I am so happy that I went through with this. I am living everyday like it is a whole new journey. I have learned that I have the determination deep down to get things done. I am getting to live life the way that it is meant to be.
This journey is never easy. I have had to fight since day one. I fought to have the surgery done, I fought after surgery to get back to me. I went through 4 and a half months of physical therapy to make it to this point. I did whatever it took to get where I am. It has taken a whole year to gain my strength and stamina back. My hope for the future is to still see improvements and to enjoy every single one of them. This life is mine to live and I am making the best of it. I am so happy that I had this done.
My Mom and Dad gave me an amazing gift today. It means the world to me. See the picture below.
Life is always changing and I will change right with it. Words can never fully explain what my heart feels on this day. Looking forward to the future. LOVING EVERY MOMENT IN LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!